Courage in Action:
a blog of Empowered Life Counseling LLC
Blog posts and news about the therapy practice, including mental health education and resources; reflections about authentic living in times of stress and change; and business updates.
How to Make Decisions You’ll Stick With
Now that you know your decision-making style, let’s think about strategies to improve decision-making in general.
Accept that you can’t have it all.
Decisions force us to close the door on other possibilities, small ones and big ones. You can’t order every delicious dish on the menu. And there will be paths not taken, careers not chosen, experiences not encountered. Would your marriage to your old love have worked out better? Fantasize all you like, but you’ll never really know. So, visit the “what if” scenario if you must, but do not invite it to take up space in your gray matter. Let the past be. Live in the present where what you do today will make a difference.
What’s your decision-making style?
Decision making is tough, mostly because it can involve high-pressure situations and we usually have to use our own judgment to make “the best” choice among several alternatives. Even though we can’t please everyone, we typically put some pressure on ourselves to keep others happy. Think about some decisions you’ve made in the last year.
What were the results?What were your other possible options? Was it a good decision? Would you change your decision? Why?
There’s three types of decisions.
No decision. Letting others decide for you (they get to be the fortune teller).
Snap decision. A quick choice without considering results.
Responsible decision. Considering others and your future when making decisions.
Love Makes a Mom
Mother’s Day is coming up - which can have loads of meaning and symbolic value and emotions to many people. However your family is structured, may you receive an abundance of gratitude for the way you nurture the children of the world. I say above that love makes a mom - what you hold in your heart as true, how you prioritize the values of your family and how you communicate this to your family.
Communication and Tips for Talking Assertively
Communication includes what we say, how we say it, and how well we listen. Kids use very direct communication – they scream if they have a need before knowing words; they blurt out what they’re feeling during a situation; and they repeat/parrot what they’ve learned from their parents. Adult communication is more complicated – we tend to be less direct. We try not to “make waves,” which is usually nothing more than making our needs and feelings known, directly and respectfully.
Communication is a skill - we must learn the techniques but also be realistic
Learning to Regulate Emotions
Like them or not, emotions are important. They’re signals in our body that tell us what’s happening. They’re the “instant news service” with regular updates. The steps to emotion regulation include: identifying, accepting and tolerating tough feelings. This skill set is related to the previous post about DBT and warrants much additional attention - below is a brief overview.EMOTIONS SERVE A PURPOSE – · Motivate – “Act now!” “Stay focused!” - Survival - (fight or flight)
Insurance Updates
Good news! If you would like to use existing insurance coverage to pay for counseling services, I am now paneled with the following insurance providers: Ambetter; Amwell; Anthem/Blue Cross Blue Shield; Cigna; Home State; New Directions EAP; United Healthcare; WellFirst.
What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive-behavioral treatment used in counseling to help people who are experiencing strong emotions, self-destructive behaviors, and suicidal thoughts. It was originally developed in the 1980s for the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder but has since been proven effective in the treatment of depression, anxiety, substance use, trauma and other mental health diagnoses.
Are you Ready for Wholehearted Living? Learn about The Gifts of Imperfection
In her previous work, Brene has taught us about the powerful emotions of guilt and shame and the difference between them – guilt is “I made a mistake” and shame is “I am a mistake.” These powerful emotions wreak havoc on our identity and during her interviews with hundreds of people, she learned about characteristics of people who were more resilient to shame. She calls this Wholehearted living, opening The Gifts with “Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
Blessing of Hope
Words of wisdom from artist, writer, and ordained minister Jan Richardson. My sense of hope can get a little wobbly on a Monday. It's the day when our present circumstances can feel the most endless to me. But I keep learning how blessedly stubborn hope can be—true hope, real hope, hope that is something quite other than wishful thinking. Hope seems to keep working in me like a deep muscle memory, setting me in motion when I don't know how to move on my own. If your own hope has been getting wobbly, this is for you.BLESSING OF HOPESo may we knowthe hope
Feelings of Restlessness
Sometimes this time of year can lead to feelings of restlessness or feeling out of place as we consider our purpose. Poet Mary Oliver encourages us to do so while in nature, to get moving while being mindful of the life surrounding us. It doesn’t always feel like there’s much life out there in January, but try it out. See what’s out there in the quiet stillness of the woods. What birds do you hear calling to each other? What winter buds do you see on the branches? What do you smell on the cool breeze?
