Courage in Action:
a blog of Empowered Life Counseling LLC
Blog posts and news about the therapy practice, including mental health education and resources; reflections about authentic living in times of stress and change; and business updates.
Beat the Winter Blues (with support)
Coming soon to Empowered Life Counseling: Beat the Winter Blues with a Self-Compassion Support Group! Support groups foster connection and a focus on coping skills by being member-led and directed. I am currently running a survey for current or prior clients to share their interest and availability for a self-compassion support group. Many folks have shared their loathing for the end of daylight savings time; concerns about the stress of the upcoming holidays; and feelings of general discontent around this time of year. It’s time to support each other with compassion
RAIN of Self-Compassion
Recognize what’s happening. Notice what’s going on inside of you at that moment, including the sensations, emotions and thoughts. Become aware of what stands out or the overall emotional tone
Allow life to be just as it is. Allow what’s happening by just breathing and letting it be. There’s no need to change it or judge. It may be helpful to consider words like “What is… is.” You might notice resistance and can allow it, without judgment.
Investigate with a gentle, curious attention. Now that you’ve allowed yourself to pay attention, investigate what feels most difficult. Ask yourself what the worst part of this is, what is wanting the most of your attention; where you feel your feelings the strongest in your body; what does this part need most right now. Note this isn’t an investigation of your mind or an invitation to analyze; rather, it’s an exploration of your body.
Nurture with loving presence. Notice your natural response to what you sense is most needed, calling upon your own inner-wisdom, and offer it to yourself. Perhaps it is some loving words or an internal embrace to yourself. Tara often will suggest putting your hands over your heart or thinking to yourself, “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ve all been there.” Notice if there’s a shift or a softening in your body.
Self-Compassion Break
Today we will discuss strategies to build our own self-compassion. This can be done by learning and reading more about self-compassion (see the resources section at the end of this post) and watching videos about research. We can also do formal and informal self-compassion practices to build mindful habits and become comfortable treating ourselves with kindness. Engaging in these exercises familiarizes us with the concept of self-compassion and builds overall awareness and mindfulness in our lives. The more we practice being kind to ourselves, the more we increase the habit of self-compassion.
Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is attending to your own suffering and treating yourself as you would your own friend, or someone who was experiencing a loss. We would be attentive, kind and nurturing in our compassion. Self-Compassion has been researched by Dr. Kristin Neff, who breaks it down into three components: Self-Kindness - We acknowledge our pain and treat ourselves with warmth and understanding, reminding ourselves “I did my best” and “I’ve come back from things like this before.” Common humanity - suffering is universal and we are not the only ones having a hard time or feeling inadequate. It’s normal to feel vulnerable when we’re trying to learn new things. Mindfulness -awareness of the present moment, without judgment, is essential in noticing our emotions and putting them in perspective. Mindfulness allows us to “let it be” , which then allows us to be compassionate for ourselves.
Just be You! Learning to Live Authentically
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves, especially during the holidays. Why not try relaxing some of those expectations and being a bit more authentic? There are some reasons it’s a good thing… it takes a lot less energy to think about and plan how are expected to behave, rather than to just be. It allows for true one-ness with self and can be a nearly spiritual experience. It’s often seen as a sign of psychological growth and accomplishment, what we’re truly looking for.
So how do we do it? Reign-in those people-pleasing tendencies and notice the patterns where they tend to occur. Those are areas you might need to work on some boundaries and assertive communication. Be honest, don’t hide your feelings. We feel happier when we live our truth.
For One Who is Exhausted
I ran across this poem/blessing today on social media. It seems to speak to the feelings of many as we cope with stressors in this challenging year.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;Now your soul has come, to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open upTo all the small miracles you rushed through.
