Courage in Action:
a blog of Empowered Life Counseling LLC
Blog posts and news about the therapy practice, including mental health education and resources; reflections about authentic living in times of stress and change; and business updates.
Beat the Winter Blues (with support)
Coming soon to Empowered Life Counseling: Beat the Winter Blues with a Self-Compassion Support Group! Support groups foster connection and a focus on coping skills by being member-led and directed. I am currently running a survey for current or prior clients to share their interest and availability for a self-compassion support group. Many folks have shared their loathing for the end of daylight savings time; concerns about the stress of the upcoming holidays; and feelings of general discontent around this time of year. It’s time to support each other with compassion
Spring 2022 Mental Health Resources
Did you know there are several area resources for in-person and virtual groups and classes to support your mental health? Browse below to learn more! The rewards of group therapy and classes are many, including proven strategies to address the problem (of the group); accountability by showing up regularly; collective validation and normalizing your experience; and showing up for yourself in a new way. This is a time to rebuild social connection and reconnect with each other.
DBT and Distress Tolerance - the power of distraction
What negative feelings do you struggle to deal with? Guilt, shame, sadness, fear and anger are common responses.
This skills module teaches the ability to cope with uncomfortable emotions. These skills are used when it is difficult or impossible to change a situation. The skills help to cope and survive during a crisis and to tolerate short/long term pain (physical or emotional). The goal of distress tolerance is to distract the mind just long enough to intervene in an emotional response to a stressful situation. Sometimes I tell clients, “The goal is to just not make it worse.”
Book: Quit Like a Woman
Quit Like a Woman: the Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol looks at alcohol and recovery culture from a feminist, political and opinionated approach, aiming to fire up the reader into questioning alcohol’s influence in our society and engender change. The reader is encouraged to step back from the societal influence of alcohol (which Whitaker makes the case was marketed similarly to Big Tobacco, with a consumer-focused push and withholding medical risks and data) and labels sobriety a “radical choice.” Overall, Whitaker challenges the traditional recovery community that can seem one-size-fits-all and encourages a lifestyle approach to wellness and recovery, asking us to consider “How much is alcohol causing a problem in my life?” rather than “Am I an alcoholic?”
RAIN of Self-Compassion
Recognize what’s happening. Notice what’s going on inside of you at that moment, including the sensations, emotions and thoughts. Become aware of what stands out or the overall emotional tone
Allow life to be just as it is. Allow what’s happening by just breathing and letting it be. There’s no need to change it or judge. It may be helpful to consider words like “What is… is.” You might notice resistance and can allow it, without judgment.
Investigate with a gentle, curious attention. Now that you’ve allowed yourself to pay attention, investigate what feels most difficult. Ask yourself what the worst part of this is, what is wanting the most of your attention; where you feel your feelings the strongest in your body; what does this part need most right now. Note this isn’t an investigation of your mind or an invitation to analyze; rather, it’s an exploration of your body.
Nurture with loving presence. Notice your natural response to what you sense is most needed, calling upon your own inner-wisdom, and offer it to yourself. Perhaps it is some loving words or an internal embrace to yourself. Tara often will suggest putting your hands over your heart or thinking to yourself, “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’ve all been there.” Notice if there’s a shift or a softening in your body.
International Non-Binary People's Day
Today we celebrate the diversity of our community by shining a light on those who identify as non-binary. The term “non-binary” is used when someone does not identify exclusive as a man or a woman, though there are more factors than that.
Book Club at Courage in Action blog
Welcome to a new (and hopefully) recurring feature of the Courage in Action blog: Book Club! This space will share reflections, quotes, and big ideas from books, both newly published and older; mainstream and controversial; popular and unknown. I hope to incorporate the books that I’m reading as well as those that impacted clients, are recommended by others and books that seem relevant to the key topics of this counseling practice: empowerment, growth, mindful presence, compassion, dialectics/open-mindedness, justice and intentionality.
Self-Compassion Break
Today we will discuss strategies to build our own self-compassion. This can be done by learning and reading more about self-compassion (see the resources section at the end of this post) and watching videos about research. We can also do formal and informal self-compassion practices to build mindful habits and become comfortable treating ourselves with kindness. Engaging in these exercises familiarizes us with the concept of self-compassion and builds overall awareness and mindfulness in our lives. The more we practice being kind to ourselves, the more we increase the habit of self-compassion.
Father’s Day
On this day recognizing the role a father or role-model may contribute to your life or family system, I encourage you to make this a day of experience and healing. This is a day closely knit to our very identity and personhood, so remove the sense of obligation or cultural norms and simply allow yourself to be. If you feel inclined to offer words of “celebration,” feel free. If there is a need to grieve or mourn a loss, allow those feelings so you may continue to heal.
Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is attending to your own suffering and treating yourself as you would your own friend, or someone who was experiencing a loss. We would be attentive, kind and nurturing in our compassion. Self-Compassion has been researched by Dr. Kristin Neff, who breaks it down into three components: Self-Kindness - We acknowledge our pain and treat ourselves with warmth and understanding, reminding ourselves “I did my best” and “I’ve come back from things like this before.” Common humanity - suffering is universal and we are not the only ones having a hard time or feeling inadequate. It’s normal to feel vulnerable when we’re trying to learn new things. Mindfulness -awareness of the present moment, without judgment, is essential in noticing our emotions and putting them in perspective. Mindfulness allows us to “let it be” , which then allows us to be compassionate for ourselves.
